Emotional Roller Coaster

I have been on an emotional roller coaster these last two weeks. First I find out I am pregnant, my mom has cancer and then my husband leaves. I was relieved and not too upset at first, but as the weeks go by it begins to set in and it is like mourning the loss of someone you loved. He hasn't been that person in a while, but it still hurts because it wasn't all bad and you tend to think about the good times and forget all the bad things that have happened. I have always been honest and true in my feelings for him. I have never lied or cheated and have always been totally commited to him. I am so scared. I know that having only 1 child would be much easier, but I still want this baby and I am scared that I am going to lose it. As everyone says, I know that I am not alone, but I still can't help but feel that way. I thought that he was such a great man, I truly thought I married a man like my daddy but when my daddy was given an ultimatum years ago to either be married or single, but you can't be both, he chose his family and never looked back. HE IS A MAN. I was so wrong about Joe. He asked to pick Cash up early yesterday and take him to the park....REALLY? You have NEVER went to the park with either of your kids in your entire life and now you want to take him to the park....keep on letting people think you are this great guy. GREAT GUYS dont leave their wife with a 14 month old and pregnant! Actually, not even mediocre guys rarely do that. You have to be a special kind of loser to do that. He emailed me and told me I deserve better than him.......enough said. Poor pity Joe. HCG 1800, P4 16 yesterday.