Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I have been on an emotional roller coaster these last two weeks. First I find out I am pregnant, my mom has cancer and then my husband leaves. I was relieved and not too upset at first, but as the weeks go by it begins to set in and it is like mourning the loss of someone you loved. He hasn't been that person in a while, but it still hurts because it wasn't all bad and you tend to think about the good times and forget all the bad things that have happened. I have always been honest and true in my feelings for him. I have never lied or cheated and have always been totally commited to him. I am so scared. I know that having only 1 child would be much easier, but I still want this baby and I am scared that I am going to lose it. As everyone says, I know that I am not alone, but I still can't help but feel that way. I thought that he was such a great man, I truly thought I married a man like my daddy but when my daddy was given an ultimatum years ago to either be married or single, but you can't be both, he chose his family and never looked back. HE IS A MAN. I was so wrong about Joe. He asked to pick Cash up early yesterday and take him to the park....REALLY? You have NEVER went to the park with either of your kids in your entire life and now you want to take him to the park....keep on letting people think you are this great guy. GREAT GUYS dont leave their wife with a 14 month old and pregnant! Actually, not even mediocre guys rarely do that. You have to be a special kind of loser to do that. He emailed me and told me I deserve better than him.......enough said. Poor pity Joe. HCG 1800, P4 16 yesterday.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Monday, May 2nd I found out I was pregnany. Thursday, May 5th I had enough of the drinking, putting everyone over his family, having to force him to want to be with us and we had it out. Long story short, by Friday he decided that he didn't want to be in this family. We are over. He has moved 99% of his things out of the house already, sign a Post-Nuptual type agreement to basically seperate our community property into seperate property and signed the house over to me. What kind of man leaves a pregnant woman with a 14 month old baby and just walks away with a clear concious. Today he calls and asks if I can bring Cash by on my way to work to see him and then drop him off at school, HELL NO. I have told him every single day that he is more than welcome to come to the house any time he wants to see his son, but he chooses to hang out at Vernons and drink with all his "friends" instead of seeing his son. He will wake up and regret these mistakes one day, may God be with him the day he does. Today is a rough day, but great friends and pulling me through.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
For the past couple weeks my mom has been a regular at the dentist offices around town. Her latest escapade led to a biopsy of the tissue that was infected; the diagnosis is Cancer. It is something called Well-Differentiated Invasive Squamous Carcinoma (whatever that means). She is waiting on a response from MD Anderson to get an appointment. Meanwhile, I had more on my mind than just that; per my calendar, I was 9 days late. I took MANY tests and all came back negative so Monday I decided to leave early and go get a blood test done and then go spend the rest of the day with my mom. That night, Dr. Faro called me with some news that we weren't sure if they were good or bad. HCG-9, Progesterone-4, that is really bad for someone who is 9 days late; however when I went back on Wednesday it was HCG-22, Progesterone-14, so they are going up. Some how, I was not as late as I thought, very unlikely. Since this was not planned, I was not taking my fertility and I was not taking my hormones and still I got pregnant through all those odds....so weird. She told me to start taking my Progesterone Monday night and I did; hopefully we caught it in time to save the pregnancy. As of today, we haven't really told a lot of people, but we probably will tell more next week when I go back for another blood test. I am trying to be reserved in my excitement..... Lord, please let your will be done one way or another, but we pray that you deliver us a healthy baby! Amen.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Well, Cash was 6 months old on September 12th, 2010. We had a very busy weekend. Saturday we had his 6 month pictures taken at 8am, then a baby shower around noon, then Colton's baseball game at 7:30pm and then Sunday we had a little Birthday BBQ at Nana's for me. Monday we went to see how much Cash had grown and Dr. Golberg said he had gained 13 oz in a month, that boy has a high metabolism like his daddy because he eats and eats and is still not 15 lbs. LOL Here are some of the pictures from his first official photoshoot!