Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Same Shit, Different Day....does it get any worse?

My doctor just called me and said she finally spoke to that fertility specialist. The good news is that he said he never codes things as fertility and he wants to see me right away. The bad news is she told him that she felt I had Cervical Stenosis because of the fact that I had so much pain when we tried to do the HSG. He said he has never had a patient with Cervical Stenosis that did not have Endometriosis. See below: Association with InfertilityGenerations of gynecologists have recognized that among infertile women, endometriosis is relatively common. Probably between 25% and 50% of infertile women will have at least some degree of endometriosis present. It is easy to understand how someone with severe endometriosis, including dense pelvic adhesions, might experience difficulty achieving a pregnancy. More difficult to understand is why someone with one tiny endomtriosis implant on the sigmoid colon would also experience infertility. The answer may lie in the complexity of endometriosis. Rather than blaming endometriosis for the infertility, it is certainly possible that there is some other, yet unexplained factor, that predisposes the woman towards developing endometriosis and also predisposes her toward infertility. Severe cervical stenosis, for example could promote a large amount of retrograde menstruation (setting her up for endometriosis) and also interfere with normal sperm transport through the cervix (decreasing her chance of fertility). Anyways, I have to call him and set up and appointment. He said that he didn’t think my Progesterone levels were good and that he really wants to see me. He will be out of town next week, but the next week after that I guess I will try to set an appointment up for a consultation.

Bellies & Babies

Well, this just proves that every day is different with someone who has fertility issues. I work in at a law firm that has over 400 employees and I guess I was just chosen to have the desk right next to our collections department which is full of about 40 young girls, most of them NOT MARRIED and it seems like every week one is finding out that she is pregnant, or that it's girl, or that her due date has changed and it is like a stab in the heart with each word. I was doing really good this month, but then BOOM, I heard one say they found out yesterday that they are having a girl and I just want to crawl in a hole. To make matters worse, when I found out I was pregnant in November, so was my cousin and my husbands cousin....well my husbands cousin had hers June 19 and my cousin is going to pop any moment and it is just sad to see them with their bellies and babies and not have mine. Sorry....just having a rough day.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Just another month...

Well, after the 2 recent miscarriages, I would say that it is actually getting easier. I don't expect as much anymore and just pray for the best. I am back on the fertility meds and going to try a few other options. Hopefully the next few months will put an end to the long struggle, but if not, we will continue to try until we have exhausted all posibilities. I am so thankful to have such a great husband and a wonderful step son who has been in my life since he was 5 months old. I think of him as my own and always will. Hopefully one day I will be able to give him a little brother or sister, but I am going to try to live a little more in the moment for the sake of my sanity and everyone's around me. As always, keep us in your prayers. We are already so blessed.

Monday, June 1, 2009

2WW

Well, I am officially in the 2WW so say a little prayers for us. Thanks.